Long ago, benches were not a thing. Instead, there were creatures. The creatures were called Benchers. Benchers got naturally paralyzed from 12:00 p.m. to 5:30 p.m. At 5:30 p.m., they walked to a different location.

One day, at 3:00 p.m., a Bencher was at Clement Street. Thirty minutes later, two guys named Bob and Mob came along and sat on the Bencher. They started chatting about their newest design (because they were architects). They thought each other’s ideas were pretty funny.

Then, out of nowhere, magic lightning hit the Bencher and transformed it into a bench. At 5:30 p.m., every other Bencher got hit by magic lightning and also turned into a bench. Bob and Mob were inspired, so they started telling people about benches. Then they started making more benches. Benches eventually spread, until they were everywhere.

That is how benches came to be.

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